Who am I?
In having a child like Jordan I think sometimes we forget to
take time for ourselves, we get lost and forget who we are. I have had a
difficult time turning 40 this last week and recently have taken some time to
reflect on myself. Who I am, what I have done and what I have overcome.
I am: Part 1
A sexual
assault survivor
A domestic
assault survivor
A teen
Mother
An Ex-Wife
A Mother of
a gay son that has been bullied most of his life
A Mother of
a special needs son that has spent years in and out of the hospital
A Mother of
a daughter that has been through tragedy
I am: Part 2
A survivor,
a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a grand-daughter, a best
friend, a caregiver, an advocate, a chef
and caterer, a college graduate.
I am a
fierce survivor against all odds. I will always come out the other end
stronger.
I am a
teenage mother who raised a strong daughter to put herself first, to be
anything she wants to be, to believe she is beautiful and only deserves the
best.
I am a
mother who raised a son to believe he can be true to himself, he always has
someone in his corner and no matter what I am always here for him even if he
strays from my arms.
I am a
mother who has held my son through medical procedures unimaginable to most, I
have placed him in a surgeons arms many times and prayed that they would be
placing him back in my arms. A mother who has spent years teaching him
something as simple as blowing a kiss or holding a sippie cup.
I am a
mother that finished my high school education and college education while being
a mother.
I am a
mother to a young firecracker who is a true gentleman, a selfless boy who is
full of humility and humor. These 4 babies are my biggest accomplishments. They
are my heroes and my reason to breathe.
I am a women
who always puts everyone else first, a woman who has seen incredible struggles,
and a woman whose strength even shocks me some days. I am a best friend and
cherish my friendships. I am a beautiful 40 year old woman who has lived the
life of an 80 yr old woman. I have had nothing and I have had everything and I
can tell you I would rather have nothing and be happy and true to myself than
to have everything and be truly lost.
I am a woman
that has spent her life thanking everyone for helping me, a woman that has
always focused on who has made me a better woman, who has helped me through
tough times, who has picked me up and dusted me off. I am a woman who would
rather not talk about herself but have the focus on others but, I am a woman
that is learning to make myself a priority. I am also a woman that is learning
I am the rock and the glue that holds everything together. I need to thank
myself some days. I need to celebrate who I am, what I have overcome and what I
am yet to do.
I think back
on the last 40 years and I know there is nothing I can’t get through, I know
there is nothing I can’t accomplish if I truly want it. I know I am strong,
intelligent, outspoken after all I am an Aries/Taurus Cusp. We are the cusp of
power and after 40 years I am finally starting to realize my power.
No matter
what life hands you know you can get through it, alone or with a team. Life
will make you bitter or better. Let’s choose better. I have decided I am going
to be the best 40yr old version of me I can be (even if that means still
telling everyone I am 30, still not ready to be 40 but a little more
comfortable with it)
Celebrate
yourself, your accomplishments, your struggles and your triumphs no matter how
small.